Gaurav Soni
October 05, 2023 03:18
13105
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Explore how restrictions and demands hinder individual potential and the path towards a more equitable society.
Q5: Girls are weighed down by restrictions, boys with demands – two equally harmful disciplines.
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Approach:
Introduction
Body
Conclusion
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ANSWER:
“Gender equality is not a woman’s issue; it is a human issue. It affects us all.” – Ban Ki-moon
Suppose a person for any previous century is to come to our time today. Rest things apart, imagine the sort of shock they will get when they see women driving planes, cars, buses etc. while men are busy taking children to park. Imagine their state of confusion when they realize that one third of villages in India are headed by Female Sarpanches while men may be at home looking after older parents or other household chores. Women having a say in their marriages and choosing desirable partners to growing acceptance to other genders, things will continue to shock the poor person more and more.
For us today all this might seem a thing of routine, but for someone who had very rigid and strict ideas about what gender-based roles are and how they should be followed without any exception, this would seem like an alien space altogether. They might not be aware of the concept of Patriarchy as such but how it works and how to keep it intact, they might be well versed in. However, the sad part of this story would be that such a person does not necessarily have to come from previous centuries to the present. In fact, in our very own times, there are many sections that continue to live and believe in such gender-based norms and see society through the lenses of patriarchy.
Gender roles and expectations have been ingrained in society for centuries. Girls are expected to be obedient, submissive, and nurturing, while boys are expected to be strong, assertive, and competitive. These expectations often come with restrictions and demands that can be equally harmful to both genders. However, in this essay, we will focus on the restrictions imposed on girls and the demands placed on boys.
The problem is not only that patriarchy and gender-based segregation are still very much prevalent today, but the issue is also that despite knowing how it creates debilitating issues for both men and women alike, it continues to flourish. If it handicaps a woman with unreasonable and illogical restrictions, it cripples the man with excessive and unnatural expectations.
Even today, girls continue to be seen as an economic as well as social burden in a family. As a reason, the dreams of a young girl are often cut short, and she is disposed off as a burden to another family at an early age. This is not just a phenomenon in developing or poor nations but well-developed nations with good human indices are also seeing a rise in child marriages. Recently, it is observed that due to climate change and extreme weather linked events, child marriages are on the rise as girls become a much heavier burden to carry when one loses a lot of life and property in the event of a disaster.
When a young girl with seemingly no prospects in life other than bearing children and carrying on with the household work, is married into a family, there also she continues to be seen as a burden or in worst cases as a property of the husband. In such cases, women who lack any economic agency, end up losing their bodily integrity as well as any voice that they might initially have. They become victims of domestic violence, abuse, marital rape, mental health issues etc. The most natural of human rights like the right to make informed choices are often denied to that woman and many times, they are not even aware of this.
In countries like Afghanistan, the role of women has been systematically reduced to the four walls of house and any role that they could have played in the society have been taken away in the name of modesty. Women’s education has been put to a halt and they are forced into a life of servitude in the name of good religious practices. However, what the Taliban had done explicitly, most countries and their residents have been doing implicitly. The essence of patriarchy has been so intrinsically ingrained on our minds that we often do not even realize when and how we put it into practice.
Restrictions can have a detrimental effect on girls’ self-esteem and confidence. When girls are constantly told what they can’t do or what they shouldn’t do, they start to believe that they are not capable of achieving their goals. This can lead to a lack of ambition and a fear of taking risks. For example, a girl who is interested in pursuing a career in STEM may be discouraged from doing so because she is told that it is not a suitable profession for women. As a result, she may choose a different career path that she is not passionate about.
Moreover, the restrictions placed on girls can also affect their mental health. They may feel trapped and suffocated by the expectations placed on them, leading to anxiety and depression. For instance, a girl who is constantly told to be modest and avoid attracting attention may feel ashamed of her body and struggle with body image issues. Depressive disorders account for close to 41.9% of the disability from neuropsychiatric disorders among women compared to 29.3% among men.
During covid, when most of the education went online, the access to education for women was narrowed. In many households where there was a lack of devices in proportion to the number of children, male children were given more access and time to use the mobile device to take classes. Girls often had to either wait for their turn or drop the classes as a solution to the problem. Similarly, mobility is an area where we unknowingly promote gender division. Most women will be sceptical of traveling alone or going out at night. Even though it may not protect them from harms that were inflicted on Nirbhaya, still, they will find a psychological sense of security in the company of a known man.
But to say women alone are victims of this mind set will only be half a truth. In recent times, more awareness has been generated with regards to the impact of patriarchy on males especially in view of unreasonable demand that they are supposed to fulfil. Since time immemorial, most of our stories are centred around a strong and virtuous man who is worthy to rule the world and should be ready to fight for it without shedding a tear. Such stories have set very high, yet very toxic standards of masculinity on man.
From a very small age, these unnatural expectations and the hero complex start to shape the psychology of an impressionable child who starts growing up fighting every natural instinct to live up to this unnatural expectation. As a result, men often find it hard to channelize their inner sensitivity and sometimes lose control over their emotional faculties.
They are supposed to be the providers and they have to be the leaders in any field that they enter. They are only allowed to feel masculine emotions, power, anger, passion and should not give space to feminine emotions like love, compassion, nurturing etc. This ends up creating cognitive dissonance and conflicts in their minds as there appears to be a mismatch in what they feel and what society expects them to feel. The pressure they are put through in general halts their emotional growth and cognitive well-being. In the end the good ones end up having issues like depression, anxiety etc. and the ones with weak moral compass end up doing crimes like gang rapes, domestic violence, murders etc.
These demands can also have a negative impact on boys’ mental health. They may feel pressure to conform to traditional gender roles and expectations, which can lead to anxiety and depression. For example, a boy who is not earning more may feel like he is not living up to the expectations placed on him by society and struggle with feelings of inadequacy
Moreover, the demands placed on boys can also lead to toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity refers to the harmful behaviours and attitudes associated with traditional masculinity, such as aggression, dominance, and misogyny. Boys who are taught to be strong and assertive may feel like they need to prove their masculinity through these behaviours, leading to a culture of violence and abuse.
It is high time we realized that nature has been more than generous when it decides to bless human beings with capabilities. Apart from the ability to reproduce, nature does not differentiate on the basis of genders. And to assume there are only two genders and the world can be made functional if roles are divided based on these will be a very simplistic way of looking at things.
With the progress of mankind, we have understood that our initial way of looking at things might not be correct altogether. Today we live in a society where we can have freedom to live life as we want to and to create artificial standards and barriers which means walking against the natural flow of tide. Today we recognize the role that women can play in economic development as well as the role that male can play in nurturing a family. We are on the verge of revolutionizing society by giving conjugal and marital rights to other genders.
In this scenario there are many course corrections that we need to do. We must start with empowering our women at the same time sensitizing our men. Small changes like changing the gender-neutral annotations, wage parity, paternity leaves, etc. are being implemented in many places. With the rise of social media, it has become easier to find one’s role models based on their achievements and not on gender itself. Women are taking up more responsible positions today in almost every field.
At legal level too we need to require do more. We required gender neutral laws, not for women but equally for protecting boys’ interests also. And implementation of it core of core thing. We already have constitutionally provided provisions of equality, Provisions of directive principles of state policy for it .
At the core level, we need to make people capable of making informed choices and not think about gender where it has no role to play. At the same time, we must try to inculcate healthy sex education and open communication between various genders to develop a healthy and productive attitude towards the other genders. We need to be more accepting of physical differences and respect the boundaries that help maintain harmony in society. But we must not make them barriers in the growth of society.
Thus, promoting gender neutrality is not just a matter of equality; it’s a fundamental step towards building a fairer, more inclusive, and forward-looking society. By challenging and dismantling gender stereotypes, we can create a world where individuals are free to pursue their aspirations, regardless of their gender identity or expression.
It is important for society to recognize these harmful gender roles and work towards creating a more inclusive and accepting environment for all genders. By breaking down these harmful expectations, we can create a world where both girls and boys can thrive and reach their full potential.
For this we need to have empathy, compassion and understanding in our hearts. We must move away from toxic practices like patriarchy and even if we are unable to bring big changes, we need to promote the practice of self-reflection. If everyone tries to be aware of their behavior towards others and develop the respect for boundaries, then we all can have a space to live up to our full potential and that too in harmony with others.
Equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women.” – Joss Whedon
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