In a small village nestled between green hills, two friends, Ankit and Ravi, lived with contrasting life experiences that shaped their understanding of happiness and desire. Ankit, a humble farmer, had always dreamt of owning a piece of fertile land by the river. His days were filled with hard labour on rented fields, and every night, he dreamt of the day he would have his own land. Despite his efforts and hopes, the years went by without his dream coming true. The constant struggle weighed heavily on Ankit, often leaving him with a sense of longing and unfulfilled desire. The absence of his heart’s desire made him feel incomplete, and his dreams seemed perpetually out of reach, which brought a lingering sadness to his life.

On the other hand, Ravi, Ankit’s childhood friend, inherited a vast expanse of fertile land and lived a life of affluence. Ravi’s desires had always been met without much effort, and he spent his days indulging in various luxuries. However, as time passed, Ravi found himself restless and dissatisfied. The thrill of acquiring what he wanted faded quickly, and a void grew within him. Despite having everything he had ever desired, Ravi felt an emptiness that wealth could not fill. The realisation that fulfilling his desires did not equate to happiness left him in a state of existential discontent.

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One evening, Ankit and Ravi met by the river, and their conversation revealed the irony of their situations. Ankit spoke of his unending sorrow in his life due to unfulfilled desires, while Ravi lamented his unfulfilled soul despite his material success. They realised that life’s true tragedy lies not only in unfulfilled desires but also in the realisation that getting what one wants might not bring the expected joy. In their shared moment of understanding, they found a profound truth: “Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart’s desire; the other is to get it.”

The essay explores the meaning of the above quote, examining the tragedies of unfulfilled and fulfilled desires, and ultimately, it delves into the concept of finding joy independent of external circumstances.

The quote by Socrates highlights the dual nature of human aspirations. The first tragedy reflects the pain of unfulfilled dreams, capturing the deep sorrow and disappointment when one’s deepest desires remain out of reach, leaving a sense of longing and regret. For instance, Sahir Ludhianvi, a celebrated poet and lyricist in Bollywood, exemplifies the theme of unfulfilled aspirations in his work. His poetry, rich with themes of love, loss, and societal reflections, resonates deeply with the human experience. In “Main Pal Do Pal Ka Shayar Hoon” from “Kabhi Kabhie” (1976), Ludhianvi poetically explores the fleeting nature of fame and love, capturing the poignant yearning and sorrow of a poet whose dreams remain tantalisingly out of reach despite brief moments of happiness and fulfilment.

The second tragedy speaks to the unforeseen burdens that accompany fulfilled desires, highlighting the unexpected challenges, pressures, and responsibilities that can arise even when our dreams are realised. For instance, Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar’s illustrious career, marked by achieving his heart’s desire to become one of the greatest cricketers, also brought immense pressure and relentless scrutiny, illustrating the challenges and stresses tied to great success. Both aspects underscore the inherent complexities and paradoxes of pursuing one’s deepest desires.

The Tragedy of Unfulfilled Desire

The tragedy of unfulfilled desires is a profound aspect of the human experience, touching the emotional and psychological core of individuals across different cultures and societies. It encompasses a spectrum of feelings, including longing, disappointment, and existential questioning, which can significantly impact one’s mental and emotional well-being.

At the heart of unfulfilled desires lies a deep sense of longing. This feeling is often characterised by a persistent yearning for something that remains just out of reach. In the Indian context, the story of Devdas, a fictional character created by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay, exemplifies this. Devdas’s unfulfilled love for Paro leads him down a path of self-destruction and despair. His inability to attain his heart’s desire plunges him into a cycle of longing and regret, ultimately leading to his demise. This narrative highlights the emotional turmoil that can arise when one’s deepest desires remain unfulfilled, echoing the words of John Greenleaf Whittier: “For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.’” 

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Disappointment is another critical dimension of unfulfilled desires. It often stems from the gap between one’s expectations and reality. The educational aspirations of many students provide a stark illustration. The intense competition for prestigious institutions like the Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs) means that despite hard work and dedication, many students face rejection. This can lead to severe disappointment, affecting their self-esteem and mental health. The societal pressure to succeed further exacerbates this disappointment, sometimes resulting in tragic outcomes, such as student suicides as observed recently in Kota in case of A 16-year-old engineering aspirant from Bihar .

Unfulfilled desires often lead to existential questioning, where individuals grapple with the meaning and purpose of their lives. This questioning can arise from the realisation that despite their efforts, some goals may remain unattainable. The teachings of the Bhagavad Gita address this existential dilemma wherein, Lord Krishna advises Arjuna to perform his duties without attachment to the results, highlighting the importance of focusing on the journey rather than the destination. This perspective aims to alleviate the existential angst that can accompany unfulfilled desires. 

The Tragedy of Fulfilled Desire

Similarly, the tragedy of fulfilled desire is a paradox that reveals the complex nature of human aspirations. Achieving one’s heart’s desire can lead to unexpected consequences and challenges, such as disillusionment, loss of purpose, and the burden of expectations. These themes demonstrate that fulfilment is not always synonymous with happiness or contentment. As the old adage goes, “Be careful what you wish for; you might just get it.” 

When individuals achieve their deepest desires, they often encounter a sense of disillusionment. The reality of attaining their goals may not match the idealised vision they held. Students striving for admission to a prestigious university often anticipate that it will guarantee academic success, career prospects, and personal fulfilment. Yet, upon enrollment, they may encounter a daunting academic workload and intense competition, sometimes leading to disillusionment as they adjust to the challenges of their educational journey.

Achieving a long-cherished goal can also result in a loss of purpose. Once the objective is met, individuals may find themselves questioning their direction and motivation in life. Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, experienced a profound loss of purpose after achieving his goals. Despite his unparalleled success, Phelps struggled with depression and a lack of direction once his competitive swimming career ended. His achievements, which should have been a source of lasting fulfilment, instead left him searching for a new sense of purpose, underscoring the complexity of achieving one’s desires. As Viktor E. Frankl noted, “Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.” 

Fulfilled desires can also bring the burden of expectations. Success often raises the bar, creating new pressures and responsibilities. Globally, the experience of J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, reflects the burdens that come with fulfilled desires. The phenomenal success of her books brought immense fame and wealth, but also unprecedented expectations. Rowling faced pressure to meet the high standards set by her previous works, which impacted her creative process and personal life. As she aptly remarked, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all—in which case, you fail by default.” 

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Finding Joy Independent of External Circumstances

The two tragedies discussed in the essay highlight the idea that true joy often comes from the journey and process, not just reaching the goal. When we focus on the journey—embracing each step, learning, and growing—we find more satisfaction. Whether we achieve our dreams or not, appreciating the effort and experiences along the way can be more fulfilling than the outcome itself. This shift in focus helps us find lasting contentment beyond just achieving or failing. Embracing each step of our journey, learning from challenges, and valuing incremental progress can transform our experience of life. For example, artists and tech entrepreneurs, such as those in Bangalore’s startup ecosystem, revel in the journey of innovation and collaboration, valuing personal growth and learning over just hitting profit milestones. This shift highlights a cultural appreciation for the pursuit itself, reflecting a broader embrace of process-driven fulfilment in society. This mindset shifts our focus from the outcome to the journey itself, nurturing personal growth and resilience, and ultimately leading to a more enduring sense of contentment.

Further, finding joy independent of external circumstances is a profound concept that emphasises the inner sources of happiness rather than relying on external factors. This idea is deeply rooted in various philosophical, spiritual, and psychological traditions, offering diverse ways to cultivate lasting happiness by finding meaning beyond personal desires.

Firstly, from a philosophical standpoint, the Stoics of ancient Greece, such as Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius, taught that true happiness comes from within and is achieved by mastering one’s reactions to external events. As Epictetus famously said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” They believed that while we cannot control what happens to us, we can control our responses, thus maintaining a state of inner peace. This perspective resonates with the Indian philosophy of detachment found in the Bhagavad Gita, where Lord Krishna advises Arjuna to perform his duties without attachment to the results. 

Secondly, spiritual traditions across the world emphasise inner peace and joy, teaching that true happiness comes from cultivating a serene and contented inner state rather than relying on external factors. In Buddhism, the practice of mindfulness and meditation is central to finding joy within. As Buddha stated, “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” Mindfulness encourages living in the present moment, reducing the influence of past regrets and future anxieties. 

Thirdly, modern psychology also supports the notion that true happiness is found within. Positive psychology, pioneered by Martin Seligman, explores how factors such as gratitude, resilience, acceptance and positive thinking contribute to lasting happiness. Seligman’s concept of PERMA (Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishments) outlines how individuals can cultivate inner joy through purposeful activities and strong social connections. The practice of gratitude, for example, has been shown to significantly enhance personal well-being and satisfaction.

Fourthly, cultural practices around the world highlight ways to find joy irrespective of external conditions. In Japan, the concept of “Ikigai” (reason for being) encourages people to find joy through their passions, mission, vocation, and profession. This holistic approach ensures that individuals find satisfaction in their everyday lives. As the Japanese proverb says, “Fall seven times, stand up eight,” reflecting the resilience and inner strength associated with Ikigai.

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The exploration of the dual tragedies of life—unfulfilled and fulfilled desires—reveals profound insights into the human condition. Unfulfilled desires encapsulate a spectrum of emotional and psychological turmoil, from the relentless longing and disappointment to the existential questioning. The pain of not achieving one’s heart’s desire often leads to deep sorrow, illustrating the complex interplay between hope, effort, and the harsh realities of life. 

On the other hand, the tragedy of fulfilled desires uncovers the unexpected burdens that accompany success. It highlights that achieving dreams does not necessarily guarantee lasting happiness or contentment; instead, it can introduce new challenges that must be navigated with resilience and self-awareness. As Jim Carrey insightfully remarked, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” This paradox underscores the idea that fulfillment is a multifaceted experience, often fraught with unforeseen difficulties.

The essay emphasises the importance of finding joy independent of external circumstances. Philosophical, spiritual, and psychological traditions converge on the notion that true happiness emanates from within. Whether through the Stoic practice of controlling one’s reactions, as Epictetus said, “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters,” the teachings of Sufism that emphasise divine love and inner peace, or the pursuit of psychological well-being through mindfulness and gratitude, the path to enduring joy lies in inner peace and self-awareness. This understanding offers a balanced perspective, encouraging individuals to seek meaning and fulfilment beyond the attainment of desires. In doing so, it provides a roadmap for navigating the inherent tragedies of life, fostering a sense of contentment that transcends external achievements. As the Buddha wisely observed, “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

In dreams unfulfilled, sorrow takes flight,

In desires achieved, burdens alight.

Yet joy within, not bound by fate,

In inner peace, true bliss we create.

From ancient teachings to modern day,

Find happiness in a mindful way.

Through life’s dual tragedies, this truth we see,

Inner joy sets the spirit free.

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